When we arrive on this planet earth, we are clean slates, without any self-definitions, worldviews, opinions, beliefs etc. We learn, interpret and respond to our surroundings as we see it and experience it. There are excellent things we learn along the journey of our life and there are also not so great things we imbibe. If we look closely, we realize that these not-so-great things, like negative beliefs and limiting perspectives about ourselves and the world around us, have halted us in so many ways.
It is no exaggeration to say that each and every one of us is hypnotized to some extent, by the limiting ideas we have uncritically accepted from others, or we have repeated to ourselves or convinced ourselves to be true. These beliefs or ideas have prevented us from expressing our highest potential in key areas of life.
Let me cite an incident, which I read in a book and found it extremely relatable. Dr. Alfred Adler, a psychotherapist, had an experience when he was a young boy that shows just how powerful belief can be on behavior and ability. He used to struggle with arithmetic and his teacher ‘became convinced’ that he was ‘dumb in mathematics’. The teacher then talked to his parents about it and told them not to expect too much of him. They, too, were convinced. Adler passively accepted the evaluation they had placed on him. And his grades in arithmetic proved they had been correct. One day, however, he had a sudden flash of insight and thought he saw how to work a problem the teacher had put on the board, and which none of the other pupils could work. He announced it to the teacher and strode to the blackboard, and worked the problem much to their amazement. In doing so, he realized that he could understand arithmetic. He felt a new confidence in his ability, and went on to become a good math student.
The important thing for us to remember is that it doesn’t matter in the least how we got the limiting belief or where it came from. But if we have accepted an idea___ from our family, friends, teacher, advertisements or other forms of media, and further, if we are firmly convinced that the idea is true, it has the immense power to limit us.
Scientific research has shown that Dr. Adler’s experience was not rare, but typical of practically all students who make poor grades. The poor grades in school are, in almost every case, due to some degree to the students’ “self-definition”. These students have been literally hypnotized by such ideas as ‘I am dumb’, ‘I am bad at Math’, ‘I am ugly’, etc. The results of this study hold true for any situation and area of our lives.
So, how do we break free of these limiting beliefs? Here is the first step that we can take in this regard.
Becoming aware about all those beliefs which are holding us back. I have a long list of limiting beliefs affecting me negatively. Like, ‘I am not good at public speaking’, ‘I have to be approved and accepted by everyone’, ‘I am not enough’ and so on and so forth. I have gotten over a few of them, but a lot needs to be done yet.
How about you? Grab a piece of paper and pen down everything that comes to your mind. What are those ideas which are the reason for your low self-confidence, which have caused you to lose important opportunities, which have prevented you from expressing yourself fully, which are the reasons for your low self-esteem etc.
Now when we have thrown light over the conflicting beliefs, we need to Investigate them for truth, interrupt them and install new positive ones there. Thus, the more truth we embrace, we are presented with more choices. When we make good choices, we start becoming the conduits of change in our own life and in the lives of other people.
Some significant pointers about how to Investigate and Interrupt these self-limiting beliefs will be discussed in the next part of this blog.
Stay tuned… Guys!!!
If we always do, what we have always done, We will get what we have always got.