Most of us have been raised on the diet of “I am not good enough.” Our lack of acceptance of ourselves shows up in all sorts of ways we deal with things in life. When we don’t accept our own body types or beauty or worth or sense of imperfection then not only we negatively influence our lives but also project this on the people associated with us. Especially our kids, and a child picks this up so clearly that they walk around with anger or a sense of shame without even realizing it. Children absorb our behavior of disregard and unworthiness.
The following are the ways in which we compromise our self-worth and resort to self-inadequacy.
1) Comparison: We question our worth when we compare ourselves to others. We measure our value by looking at others.
2) Busyness and overworking: We overschedule and keep ourselves busy as a way to feel validated and important.
3) Pleasing others: We prioritize other people’s opinions above our own. We compromise on our needs and values to please others and feel ‘less than’ when others judge us.
4) Perfectionism: We seek to become what society has laid down in front of us as ‘Perfect’. And feel unworthy when unable to hit those unreal and rigid standards.
There are a few ways to defend and fight against this not enoughness. Let us check what they are…
1) It’s OKAY…. # to make mistakes
# to have bad days
# to be less than perfect
# to put ourselves first and do what is best for us.
# to be ourselves
2) Making time for ourselves:
We need to make ourselves a priority each and every day. Even if it is just for 10 minutes, we need to do something that is not in our to-do list.
3) Being mindful of self-criticizing thoughts and noting that they are just thoughts and not facts.
4) Being our own Cheerleader:
Shouting out loud, “ I am Enough!!!! There is nothing about me which is more beautiful and perfect than my imperfection.”
5) Being of service to others can help us feel good and accomplished.
6) Forgiving ourselves and others boosts our self-worth.
7) Recognising mistakes for they are: a valuable learning experience.
You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough. Believe it and never let insecurity run your life.
Jillian Michael